Teachings
by AquilaTempestas
Summary: Lucifer is introduced to the world of social networking with assistance from the Winchester boys.
1. Lucifer's Quest

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Supernatural belong to Eric Kripke

**Title**

Teachings

**Summary**

Lucifer is introduced to the world of social networking with assistance from the Winchester boys.

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**Chapter One: Lucifer's Quest**

The angels were sitting around the banquet table talking about trivial gossip. There was no food on the table however as angels didn't eat food; it was basically empty except for the statue of Michael sitting in the middle. Michael stared at it, pleased with his creation. Lucifer on the other hand was less than impressed. He wanted to destroy that statue, but decided that would not be a good idea. This was meant to be a peaceful meeting after all.

"So, why are we here anyway?" Anna asked, twirling a strand of red hair around a finger. "I've got a party to go to in a few hours," she added.

Michael frowned. "You were invited to Dean's party?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I figured I should go."

Michael pouted. "He didn't invite me."

"Are you friends on Facebook?" she questioned.

The leader of the arch angels shook his head. "I've tried adding him to my friends, but he declines everytime. I think he's unhappy I used his dad as a vessel then used Adam as one too. He holds a grudge against me."

The other angels talked about the party invite on Facebook, and Lucifer was beginning to feel left out. What was this Facebook? Why had he not been told about it? He tried to speak up and ask an angel for some information, but they were too busy talking. Fortunately, it didn't take long for the conversation to die down. "What is Facebook?" Lucifer asked.

Many pairs of eyes fixed at him. One angel's (Gabriel) jaw dropped. "You don't know what Facebook is? You have got to be joking," said Anna.

Lucifer hated this feeling. It was almost equivalent to the feeling of getting kicked out of heaven. "No... I don't know what Facebook is."

"Seriously? You were in Sam's mind, but you never learned what Facebook is?" Michael asked, trying to stop a smirk from crossing his face.

Lucifer pouted. "He never brought it up, nor has he used it."

"Even Castiel knows what Facebook is," Raphael mentioned, feeling pretty proud of himself. Finally, he knew something Lucifer didn't know!

"Will someone show me?"

No one spoke.

"Please?"

Again, there was silence. The cold truth was no one wanted to help Lucifer because they were scared what would happen if he became addicted to Facebook. The Devil had an addictive personality – once he was hooked on something, he'd never let go. Finally, an angel spoke. It was Castiel. "The Winchesters could teach him how to use Facebook, they taught me."

"Hey, you can help Lucifer too!" Rachel said, beaming at him.

"Yeah, that's a great idea!" Balthazar added.

"Alright Castiel, you take Lucifer to the Winchesters and teach him how to use Facebook. But _becareful,"_ Michael warned. Castiel understood that look all too well. "But first he needs to understand what Facebook is."

Lucifer looked at Castiel expectantly. "So?"

"It's a great way to make friends and keep in contact with them," the nerdy angel replied.

Lucifer frowned completely confused by Castiel's words. "Why create an account to keep contact if I can see them whenever I want?" Lucifer reasoned.

"But you don't have any friends," Michael pointed out. "That's why you should get one, so you can make friends."

The Devil felt deeply hurt by his older brother's words. But they were true, he had no friends. Even his demons hated him and humans were scared of him. Perhaps this Facebook would change his fortunes.

"And it's not just about the friends, you can play games too!" Gabriel said.

"Like Robot Unicorn Attack," Uriel said, a wide smirk on his face. "The fairy version is the best." At this point, all the angels (except Lucifer) eyed Uriel warily. The fairy version was the pansy version.

It was Michael who broke the silence. "Alright, it's settled. Castiel will help Lucifer become educated in the world of social networking with assistance from the Winchesters." Thank God for that. He really didn't want Lucifer hanging around for any longer. "You should leave now."

In a flash, the two angels were gone.

In less than a second, they were in the motel Sam and Dean were staying in. Needless to say the brothers were quite surprised to see Lucifer standing there with Castiel. Sam's eyes widened and he stumbled backwards. "What the hell?" asked Dean. "What is this, Cas?"

"Don't worry, Dean. Lucifer is not here to take Sam nor destroy the world. He is here to learn about social networking sites starting off with Facebook," Castiel explained.

Both Winchesters were very confused. "What? Did I just hear that right?" Dean asked.

"Lucifer wants to learn how to use Facebook?" Sam finished.

Lucifer nodded. "I want an account and I want one now." He looked at Sam. "You will say yes to me. You will be the only one allowed to teach me." He grinned at the horrified expression on Sam's face.

"I'm not going to make that mistake again," Sam muttered, but Castiel glared at him. That took Sam by surprise. "You're serious about this, aren't you?"

Castiel pulled the brothers aside away from Lucifer, then whispered into their ears. "Lucifer needs some friends. Michael reckons if Lucifer makes some friends, his bitterness will fade away." Well, Michael didn't exactly say it out aloud, but his look told Castiel all he needed to know. "Please help my brother."

"Alright, but Sam won't be teaching Lucifer. I don't trust the Devil around my brother."

"Lucifer has a request that Sam be the one to teach him," Castiel said.

"What? That's not fair!" Sam protested. "You are his brother!" he accused, glaring at the nerdy angel.

Castiel frowned. "I'm sorry, Sam. But you and Lucifer share a profound bond."

Sam grumbled. Great. Not only was he the Devil's true vessel, but also now his teacher. Could his life get any worse?

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Just a short side project I felt like doing while I work on my other major Supernatural stories. I hope you found the first chapter somewhat enjoyable. More social networking stuff to come! As always, reviews much appreciated!


	2. Teaching Lucifer

Disclaimer

The rights to Supernatural belong to Eric Kripke

Title

Teachings

Summary

Lucifer is introduced to the world of social networking with assistance from the Winchester boys.

**Special Thanks**

Every Atom Of Your Existence, Guest, CasWinchester, OhMyLeppy, Riddle Wrath, sadiegrl, WednesdaysChild451208, Creativity Incarnate, FireChildSlytherin5 and Guest 2 for reviewing the previous chapter! I hope you enjoy the long-awaited chapter two!

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**Chapter Two: Teaching Lucifer**

Lucifer actually seemed to be quite easy to teach which was a big surprise to Sam. The Devil really wanted to learn. No smart comments, no complaints... it was like he had changed into someone likable. But of course, Sam wasn't going to be fooled. He was smarter than that. This was probably just another one of his tricks. Lull Sam into a false sense of security, then pounce!

"Okay Lucifer, this is Facebook. You have to make an account."

Lucifer frowned. "Why do I need to make an account?"

Sam sighed. "You need one to be able to get a Facebook page." Sam pushed the keys on the keyboard and Lucifer watched as letters appeared on the screen. Amazing! All this time he had thought humans were pathetic, but this... this was incredible. It was like magic. "Facebook helps you connect and share with the people in your life," Sam said, as he continued to type. He then hit the search button with a thing called a 'mouse' which brought the screen to the Facebook homepage.

"Sign up. It's free and always will be," said Lucifer, reading the text aloud. "Free things are good."

Sam lifted a brow and gave the Devil a questioning look, "Why would you care? Money isn't a problem for angels. Couldn't you just get access to a person's back account or work some freaky angel mojo to get their money?"

Lucifer shrugged, giving Sam a sideways look, "Sometimes. It's too much effort though." He turned his attention back to the screen reading the text at the first box. "First name. Lucifer."

Sam typed the name into the box, then moved the cursor to where it read, 'Last Name'. "Last name?"

"I don't have one," Lucifer replied sadly. "Angels don't have surnames like you humans do."

"Err, ok... I'll just type Satan then."

"Email address?" Lucifer asked.

"Do you have one?"

Lucifer thought hard. Father had randomly assigned them email addresses because he thought the angels could learn how to be like humans. "Uh, I think it's 666isHell at hotmail dot com."

Sam just shook his head, but he typed the words anyway. He re-entered the email address in the box underneath, then moved down to the 'New Password' box. "What's your password?"

"Devil."

And so entered the password in. Now only two questions remained. Lucifer was obviously male so that was easy to answer. Birthdate was another problem altogether. Lucifer was probably thousands of years old and Facebook didn't go that far back. So he made up a random date (using his own birthdate) to make the process much easier. "You now have a Facebook account."

"Thank you, Sam."

"We just have to verify your details and you'll be in." The verification process didn't take long fortunately, and soon they were in Facebook. Lucifer was quite surprised – it was like looking at a new world. Humans were fascinating, no wonder Castiel liked hanging out with them.

"I am going to become a professional at this. I will take over Facebook," Lucifer declared. He was going to get more 'friends' than his lame brother Michael. He would prove to all of Heaven that he didn't deserve to be stuck in Hell for a really long time. "Now what do I?"

"You explore of course. You can edit your profile page and write a few things about yourself, or you can check out the games. Dean really likes Robot Unicorn Attack; you'd like the Hell version I think. Whatever you do, do not play any Ville game. I'll be back soon, I have to go and do human things like eat and sleep. Don't go anywhere," Sam warned, then left the room.

Leaving the Devil alone in a room with just a computer probably wasn't the best of ideas, but Lucifer was far too transfixed by this Facebook, he didn't even glance out at the window. Fortunately, Castiel 'appeared'. "Hello, brother."

"Hello, Castiel."

"You can add me as a friend," the younger angel said, immediately typing his name into the Facebook search box. He clicked the 'add friend' option. "I'll accept your invitation shortly."

"So, what do you think I should do?"

A human smile broke out on Castiel's face. He really had been hanging out with the Winchesters far too much. "Play Farmville. It's the greatest. You get to be a farmer."

Lucifer frowned. "But I don't want to be a farmer! I'm the ruler of Hell! The demons will not take me seriously if I become a farmer." Not that they took him seriously at all anymore. A growing number of demons were turning to either Meg or Crowley for leadership. Damn demons. He made them too smart.

"It's a fun game. Michael plays it too."

Lucifer clenched his jaw. "I will play this Farmville then... but Sam said not to?" Could he break Sam's advice and play a Ville game? He decided yes, he was going to. Besides, he _was _the Devil. He made his own rules. "Get me started, Castiel."

Castiel almost squealed as he typed in 'Farmville' in the search box. Before Lucifer knew it, he was staring at what was meant to be a farm. The younger angel launched into a long explanation about how to play Farmville but Lucifer didn't pay any attention. He just wanted to get started so he could make a better farm than Michael. Father was going to be so proud.

Since Lucifer was pretty intelligent, it didn't take him long to figure out how the game worked. In a matter of minutes, he was buying crops, ploughing the ground and planting seeds and trees. It was really quite exciting. He was in total control and he loved it. The green box was now full of strawberries and four trees placed in each corner. "Four hours until harvesting time," Lucifer said, unaware that Castiel was still there standing right next to him.

Four hours was quite a bit of wait. Sam and Dean were out doing human things so they wouldn't provide him entertainment and Castiel was a little too strange for his liking. But he couldn't get up and leave; his crops would die. "I shall explore this Facebook." And may the online world cower before him.

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I apologize for a late update, but I lost interest in Supernatural because of season eight. Slowly getting back into it again by watching earlier seasons so I hope to do more updates in the near future. What should Lucifer do next on Facebook? As always, reviews are much appreciated!


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